Listen to this article:
“We are a very welcoming church.”
No church in their right mind would ever say anything otherwise. But quite often, our actions betray our words. Too many times, churches who say they’re welcoming are welcoming — but only to one another — the people they know.
I remember sitting with a group of ushers, who were lamenting that they had to go through “training” because they’ve been ushers for such a long time. I showed them a picture from a previous Sunday where the ushers were standing in a circle and not noticing a family (that nobody recognized) walking by them. I asked them what they saw in the picture and, unsurprisingly, no one wanted to talk anymore.
What happens is that when we’ve been part of a church for a long time, we completely take everything for granted. We just assume everyone knows where to go because I know where to go.
Which is wild because nobody would act like that when we have first-time guests at our homes. We tell them where the bathrooms are, where they can find towels, where we keep our linens, etc.
Here are some things you can look for to see if a church is really welcoming as well as how to help your faith community make sure it’s making meaningful connections.
There are three things I would like to highlight as we talk about welcoming and hospitality in churches.
Is your website welcoming?
The first impression your church makes on a guest isn’t when they first pull up to your parking lot. It’s the website. And far too many churches still ignore the importance of a website. There are way too many church websites that still look like they’re preparing for Y2K.
We all know first impressions matter (for better or worse). Know that the first impression one gets from your church is the website.
The after-welcome welcome
The second area I see many churches falling short in is what happens after the benediction (or right after service ends). Most churches are great in welcoming guests before church starts. But after we are dismissed, we try to get out of the church property to beat the Baptists to lunch. I was once told that one of the loneliest moments in visiting a church is after the benediction because everyone knows where to go and they’re all in a hurry to get there so people who don’t know are left to discover on their own where the children’s pick up may be or where the bathrooms are or if there’s a coffee and donuts. Ensure that your church is as intentional and diligent in their welcoming after service as they are before service.
The 5-10-link
The final thing I’ll share in this article is the 5-10-link rule.
I do not know who came up with it, but it is something that everyone in church can practice (not just those who are on the welcoming team/ministry).
5 minutes before and after service, make sure you meet someone you never met.
Avoid leading with the question, “Is this your first time?” Because it may not be. They may have been there for years, but your paths never crossed. Simply offer a, “I don’t think we’ve met yet” or the simple, “Hi, my name so and so, what’s yours?”
The 10 refers to distance. When someone you haven’t met is within 10ft of you, go and greet them. Even if you’re standing in an already established circle, have the courage to excuse yourself and break the circle to greet the person you haven’t had the opportunity to meet yet. In fact, if you had to break the circle to greet them, invite them in the circle of fellowship you were already standing in — which leads to the last rule: Link.
“Link” refers to connecting them to other people in the church. In the process of getting to know them (their name, where they’re from, what work they do) perhaps they have something in common with someone you already know. Maybe they just started teaching at a local elementary school and your friend works at that same school. Connect them to your friend.
We cannot have a passive mindset when we’re working on making people feel welcome. We have to be active and intentional and diligent. We also have to take a risk, in the sense that we may have to step out of our comfort zone to really greet someone we may not know at church.
People come to church — not just to connect with God, but with God’s people as well. Everyone is in need of a community.
Each of us have the power and ability to help someone feel a sense of belonging in your community.
Don’t be passive with that responsibility. Make the best of it and continue to connect people to your community and to God.
Joseph Yoo is the author When the Saints Go Flying in. He is a West Coaster at heart contently living in Houston, Texas with his wife and son. He serves at Mosaic Church in Houston. Find more of his writing at josephyoo.com.
