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As a gamer and pastor, I learned early in my studies that the church can learn something from the gaming community. It doesn’t take long to observe the lines of fans at Comic-Con or the millions of viewers of YouTube shows like “Critical Role" and realize that they are doing something right to foster community.
In a recent interview on the Real Ones podcast, actress Deborah Ann Woll discussed her history with Dungeons & Dragons with the host Jon Bernthal. Her conversation showcases how a tabletop role-playing game (TTRPG) can mirror the dynamics of a welcoming church.
Her ability to guide players without controlling them, encourage creativity without enforcing rigid rules, and foster an inclusive environment offers a rich metaphor for how churches can cultivate a community where all members feel valued and empowered.
“Do you wanna play D&D?”
Deborah Ann Woll’s interview offers a masterclass on inviting someone into a new experience with grace and sensitivity.
When Jon Bernthal, unfamiliar with Dungeons & Dragons (D&D), expresses curiosity, Woll doesn’t overwhelm him with rules or jargon. Instead, she immediately invites him to play, creating an immersive scenario where he can learn by doing.
This approach suggests a way for churches to introduce newcomers to their community. Instead of bombarding them with doctrine or expectations, a church should invite them to participate in its life, learning by being a part of the community rather than just observing from the outside.
I would describe Woll’s style of being a Dungeon Master as grace-filled, guiding without imposing control. A Dungeon Master (DM), like a pastor, sets the stage for the story but allows the players to make their own choices and discoveries. This balance between guidance and freedom is essential for creating a welcoming and inclusive environment.
Woll doesn’t start by explaining character sheets or the intricacies of the game. Instead she focuses on the immediate scenario, allowing Bernthal to engage with the game in an intuitive and accessible way. Similarly, churches should prioritize making new members feel at home before guiding them into more complex theological or organizational details.
Churches foster more inclusive and welcoming community by meeting people where they are and allowing them to engage at their own pace.
House Rules
The concept of "house rules" in TTRPGs is a powerful metaphor for how churches adapt to better serve their communities. Just as each gaming group might adjust the official rules to suit their preferences and needs, churches can develop practices and traditions that make their spaces more inclusive and welcoming.
For instance, gaming groups I’ve been in have chosen to eliminate evil alignments or emphasize creative problem-solving over combat, instituting what’s known as the “Rule of Cool.” These decisions reflect the group's values and goals, creating an enjoyable play environment.
In the church context, house rules might prioritize inclusivity and accessibility. For example, a church might be particularly welcoming to marginalized groups or emphasize service and community outreach over traditional worship practices. These "house rules" help create a space where everyone feels valued and included, regardless of their background or familiarity with the faith.
One such house rule at the church I pastor revolves around prayer requests. Some church members with church trauma express feeling attacked when they are brought in as a prayer request without their consent. As a rule, we set the expectation that our prayers be focused on our own lives, not the gossip of others.
A church can remain a community of welcome by being willing to adapt and evolve in response to the community's needs.
Yes, And
The "Yes, And" principle, a cornerstone of improvisational theater, is also vital in TTRPGs and church communities. This principle encourages participants to build on each other's ideas, creating a collaborative and dynamic environment.
In a TTRPG, this might mean accepting a player’s unconventional idea and working it into the story rather than shutting it down because it doesn’t fit the planned narrative. It could mean being open to new ideas and initiatives in a church, even if they challenge traditional practices or beliefs.
This approach makes the game more engaging and fosters a sense of ownership and investment among the players. Similarly, a church that embraces the "Yes, And" principle is more likely to inspire its members to actively participate in the community, contributing their unique gifts and perspectives.
This doesn’t mean abandoning core beliefs or values but instead being open to how those beliefs and values might be expressed or applied in new and creative ways.
Beware the Grognards
Every TTRPG community has its share of "grognards"—longtime players who are deeply attached to traditional playing and can resist change. These individuals can act as gatekeepers, discouraging new players or those with different playstyles from fully participating.
In a church setting, grognards might be those members who resist new ideas or cling to traditions that no longer serve the community. While their experience and commitment can be valuable, church leaders must ensure that these individuals do not stifle growth or innovation.
When I planted a church for nerds, geeks, and gamers, the first advice I received from Rev. Derek White, the Geekpreacher, was to watch the grognards closely. Grognards’ reluctance to embrace change creates barriers for newcomers and limits the church's ability to evolve and meet the needs of its members.
A church must ensure that the grognard mentality does not take root. By fostering an environment that values openness, adaptability and grace, a church can prevent gatekeepers from making the space less welcoming for others. Just as in a TTRPG, where the presence of grognards limits the group’s ability to tell a good story, gatekeepers in a church can restrict its ability to grow and thrive.
A Church By Any Other Name
Deborah Ann Woll’s approach to DMing offers valuable lessons for churches to create welcoming and inclusive communities. Church leaders set a tone that mirrors the best aspects of a well-run game by being inviting without being pushy, guiding without controlling, and encouraging creativity without enforcing rigid rules.
Ultimately, TTRPGs and churches thrive when they embrace diversity, encourage participation, and foster a culture of growth and belonging. By learning from the grace and inclusivity exemplified in Woll’s DMing, churches become more welcoming, dynamic, and inclusive communities—where everyone is invited to play a part in the story.
Nathan Webb is a major nerd in just about every way. He loves video games, anime, cartoons, comic books, tech, and his fellow nerds. Hoping to provide a spiritual community for people with similar interests, he founded Checkpoint Church--"the church for nerds, geeks and gamers." Nathan can be found lurking on some visual novel subreddit, reading the latest shōnen entry, or playing the newest Farm Sim. Nathan is an ordained provisional elder in the United Methodist Church in the Western North Carolina Conference. He hosts a weekly newsletter podcast: To The Point.
