Church diversity: Are we doing it right?

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Carl was one of the most talented organists I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. I met him in the twilight of his career (and life) and I always wondered what it would’ve been like meeting him when he was in his prime. Though, I’m sure we would’ve butted heads far more often if I had met him in his prime. He acquiesced and compromised many times, stating “I’m too old to be stubborn. Give it a few decades, and you’ll see what I’m talking about.”

One day Carl invited me to his house for coffee. After a full discussion of work/church related things, there was a lull in our conversation and he placed his coffee mug down and said, “I also have something else I need to discuss with you.”

I braced myself for the worst.

“My feelings were really hurt last week but I don’t think it was intentional.”

My mind raced to narrow down what I could’ve done wrong. With me, there are many things to choose from. He put me out of my misery by informing me that the previous Sunday, during the administration of the eucharist that I didn’t look at him in the eye.

He went on to explain that eye contact is really important and meaningful to his people, the Swedes. He was worried that he had done something to offend me or upset me and he knew that Sunday, perhaps, wasn’t the best time to discuss this. But he wanted to clear the air.

My first reaction was laughter (I know. It’s a nervous habit).

I sincerely apologized and explained to Carl that for me, as a Korean, making direct eye contact with my elders was a sign of disrespect and that I had been conditioned to not maintain eye contact with people who are older than me or in a place of authority over me.

We both had a good laugh afterwards, comparing and contrasting our different cultural upbringings. He thanked me for letting him have this space where he could speak to me like this and I thanked him for his honesty and openness.

Now I was the minority in that church — both ethnically and age-wise. But I was the pastor and the leader of the church. It made sense that I would step out of my comfort zone and start looking at not just Carl, but all the people in the eye when administering the elements of the Eucharist.

For Carl’s and my story, the stakes were low. It didn’t “cost” much for the compromise to happen — and the compromise was made by the leadership of the church. And it benefitted us all. I wonder who else may have pondered “why doesn’t Joseph look us in the eye” but were too timid to bring it up.

That’s the thing about being inclusive and embracing diversity. You’re bringing in, welcoming and embracing people with different backgrounds and different perspectives and different ideologies. Conflicts are inevitable. It’s how we respond to such conflicts that will we know if we’re embracing diversity or if we rather settle for tokenism.

Too many churches settle for tokenism and declare it diversity.
What’s the difference? I’m so glad you asked!

Tokenism or diversity?

I once interviewed with a church who boasted about how diverse their staff was. After that interview, I went to their church website to see just how diverse their staff was.
The pastoral staff were all white men. The administration staff were all white women. The maintenance staff were all people of color.

Another church, a lay leader was exclaiming that they were a very diverse church. Their congregation had a large population of Asian Americans for sure but the staff — every single staff member — were white along with all the lay leaders.

These two churches are not embracing diversity, they’re embracing tokenism.

That church that interviewed me — the maintenance staff isn’t in the staff meetings that make important and crucial decisions that impact the church. The maintenance staff usually just does what they’re told to do.

The second church, no person of color had any voice in meetings with the staff nor did they have seats in important committees in the church.

That’s not diversity. That’s tokenism. That’s like “collecting” people who are different than you and showing them off to the world so that you can pat yourself on the back of how “diverse” you are.

Churches that are aiming for diversity should go all-in and start placing the “diverse people” in places of leadership, influence, and authority. The leadership should reflect the diversity of the congregation.

This is not easy work. It is why most churches settle for tokenism -- and therefore silence the minority voices.

But nothing in life that is worth attaining and obtaining is ever easy.

Being diverse is difficult work. But it’s good work that brings about good transformation.
It’s a true reflection of what the kingdom of God is supposed to look like.

For those churches who are embracing diversity — don’t embrace diversity for the sake of being diverse. Your church should reflect the community you reside in.

And for those of us serious about reflecting our community, it will be prudent to really grasp the difference between tokenism and diversity. The former is a form of discrimination. The latter is a reflection of God’s kin-dom.

Joseph Yoo is the author When the Saints Go Flying In. He is a West Coaster at heart contently living in Houston, Texas with his wife and son. He serves at Mosaic Church in Houston. Find more of his writing at josephyoo.com.